Mormon proxy baptism: the ultimate hedge to Pascal’s Wager?

Just to show that people can get really worked up about things occurring in the world of wishful thinking, fast on the heels of the recent resurgence of interest in alien-piloted UFOs, comes yet another kerfuffle about the Mormon practice of baptizing dead celebrities as well as victims of the Holocaust.

I realize that some people are upset by this ritual, but I pretty much place it in the “no harm, no foul” category of misdeeds. I have, though, suggested in a YouTube video that Jews might retaliate for these proxy baptisms by performing their own after-death circumcisions of Mormon males. Believe it or not, that idea wasn’t very well received.

But an article in the Guardian today has changed my take on the baptism matter. For the better, no less! According to the story:

Proxy baptisms do not automatically convert dead people to Mormonism. Under church teachings, the rituals provide the deceased a choice in the afterlife to accept or reject the offer of baptism.

Wow! If I read this correctly, it means that, if I get proxy-baptized, I may find myself waking up on the “other side” one day with an offer to convert to Mormonism in hand. That strikes me as a very attractive deal, given the options that will likely be available to me at the time. In fact, it sounds a lot like being issued a “get out of jail free” card after you’re already in jail.

Philosophers have argued about the wager named for the 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal for a few centuries: isn’t it better to bet on the existence of God and possibly receive the benefits that come with placing that bet after you die? The Mormons, it appears, have come up with the ultimate Pascal’s Hedge; you don’t even have to place your bet until after the results of the after-life contest are announced.

All I can say is sign me up! But maybe not right away.